Epic Week

Last week, I had an awesome week.

On Monday, I got to do a stand up comedy show at The Outpost in Hollywood. I got eight minutes to myself to try and make people laugh as much as possible. It was not only fun getting to tell my jokes in a comfortable setting, but I made new friends and saw other people I see around a lot and felt like a part of the stand up community.

On Tuesday, I went to an open mic in Hermosa Beach and got to revive a dying audience that was struggling after a slew of terrible comedians. I did okay- and at least brought the energy back in a room.

On Wednesday, I got to enjoy my a full improv marathon day (which I’ve been enjoying every Wednesday for the past month). I went to a long-form workshop at The Groundlings with one of my favorite teachers of all time. My class was super fun and super awesome. Then, I went to my UCB 201 class for three more hours of improv and got to play around with UCB’s beloved “game.” I’m lucky enough to have very talented and fun people in that class, too!

On Thursday, I went to an open mic I was lucky enough to get a slot in at the Hollywood Hotel in the evening. I really like that space and had a pretty decent set with new material. I’ve been doing a lot of new material lately just to try and really find my stand up voice. Afterwards, I went to another open mic at iO West in the late evening with two lovely fellow stand up comedians and got to play to a small but mighty room and had a great time in that space.

On Friday, I had a long-form show with the Groundlings group over at the Groundlings theater in their new G3 space. It was so much fun and the group of people I got to play with were uber talented and the standing-room-only crowd was laughing the entire hour.

On Saturday, I spent the morning prepping for Femoir at the iO West Festival and auditioned for another round of TMI at The Second City Hollywood. It was fun seeing friendly faces and making new friends. I even saw one of my friends from Second City Chicago I had gone through the conservatory program with who lives out here now but I hadn’t seen in forever! It was delightful! Saturday evening, I worked on Femoir at my friend’s house (she agreed to stage manage for me so I could have proper tech at the show on Sunday) and we had a fun time brainstorming ideas.

On Sunday, I went through Femoir with my friend at her house with all the light and sound cues in the new order. Then Sunday evening, I performed Femoir at the LA Improv Comedy Festival at iO West! I got to see a bunch of people I know from comedyland at the festival and had a great group of friends come and support the show (which went magnificently).

I guess what I’m saying is… that was an awesome week.

Please let the teacher teach

I went to a workshop the other day for stand up comedy. I’ve been becoming obsessed with it lately, and this workshop was just a one-time fundraiser taught by a guy who’s been doing stand up for over 30 years. I was hesitant to sign up at first because I don’t think you can “learn comedy” in a classroom setting, (despite the fact that I’ve literally spent thousands on improv classes…) but I figured even if I learned one thing from this guy, it’d be worth it.

And I was so glad that I went. I learned a lot of things from this seasoned pro. He didn’t treat it like a super-serious class where we all needed to walk out as professional stand up comedians, he basically just talked about the history of stand up in Los Angeles, gave us a ton of helpful industry and technical tips, and discussed how he comes up with and works on his material. It was fan-freaking-tastic.

The only drawback were some of the other people in the class. I do not consider myself an expert by any means at stand up comedy, but I was the only person in the room who even had done open mics, let alone a couple stand up comedy shows. Everyone else seemed to be there to get the courage to start doing open mics, or to hopefully hear that there is some loophole around having to do open mics in order to become a better stand up comedian (hint: Unfortunately, in this day and age…there is NOT. Do open mics. Learn to love their suckiness).

Let me be clear- I’ve got nothing against people who are at different places in their career or what they goals and motivations are for taking any class. We’re all there to learn and make new friends and connections.

My problem comes from people, like the ones in my class, who wasted my and everyone else’s time by arguing with the teacher on minuscule and meaningless points. For example, at one point we all approached the mic and held it as if to start our set. A quirky girl approached it in an odd way. Granted, she was all-around quirky so she wasn’t going to look like your average person no matter how she approached it, but our teacher said he didn’t buy it and had her try it again.

Immediately, several people in my class started arguing with him saying they thought she was funny and quirky and was being true to herself in her approach. Our teacher said he understood that, but his argument was that unless you’ve got a whole set about how quirky you are in place, it’s  a weaker start than the more “average” approach with confidence. And then a small amount of chaos ensued where students were arguing with the teacher about the issue.

Part of me gets it. Comedy and entertainment are arts, not sciences. If you back up any choice you make with total confidence, most audiences will buy it. As one of my favorite improv teachers says, “If you sell it, they will buy it.” I could see how you could think that one man’s opinion of how you walk to the microphone stand is too minuscule and that you didn’t see any problem with it and you should always and completely be true to yourself and audiences will love you. I’m empathetic to that perspective. I get it. And I sort of buy it.

What I don’t get, however, is why a bunch of 20-somethings who’ve never even done three minutes of stand up comedy at an open mic, would waste everyone’s time arguing with a teacher who was already a seasoned vet before they were born. I didn’t pay for this workshop so you could get in an argument on comedy theory or philosophy. I like to discuss those things, but only when it’s two people who have actual performance and life experience under their belt. Besides, you don’t know how to be true to yourself onstage until you’ve spent thousands of hours onstage. Spoiler alert- your stand up persona is not actually you. It’s a persona. So choose wisely.

Eventually, our teacher just shut down the argument by essentially saying, “I hear what you’re saying. And I’m not saying it’s wrong. But I’m just saying, there is a part of me right in my gut that tells me it’s not a great move to make. I can’t give you logic or explain it further than that. That’s just it.” And since you can’t argue with a feeling, the other students shut up. Finally.

My point is, the teacher was there to teach us. If you disagree with him based on a huge amount of your own experience otherwise, then discuss it with him in a productive way or maybe during the break. Don’t waste my time trying to be told your ideas are right. I didn’t pay to listen to you talk. I paid to listen to the pro. Besides, if you really disagree, just don’t do what he says! Like I said, it’s an art not a science- so you could be right. Then again, you could trust that the 30+ year veteran comedian who has stood before crowds of thousands and thousands of people and has thousands of hours of experience might have an idea of how to help you when you’re first starting out. Once you have his experience, you can make up your own rules. Until then, maybe try his out.

You did, after all, pay him to teach you. So shut up. And let the teacher teach.

How I Know I Am Getting Older

Reblogged from Thought Catalog:

I hate to admit it, but twenty-eight is creeping up on me in a couple weeks, and I can’t help but be conscious of this black mark on the passage of time. I’m deeply aware real-time aging, in real time no less, all year round, but the month of May is always a particularly sensitive time. Because of my impending birthday, which draws me dangerously close to thirty, the signs of aging have become increasingly heightened.

Read more… 502 more words

Groovin’

The good news: I’m finally starting to find a time pattern that works with what I want to be doing. I’ve got an approximate time I need to go to bed so I can get up at another time and get (almost!) everything I want done any given day.  If I follow this pattern consistently, my productivity and my energy will all skyrocket- and that’s an exciting prospect!

I’ve got an amazing app called Sleep Cycle that wakes me up slowly and pleasantly so I’m ready to be up and about right when I need to be. I can get up, work on some creative stuff, work my body out, work a little more on creative stuff, put in a full day at my day job, then spend the evenings out performing and in classes. Then – if I’ve planned it right- I’m in bed at just the right time to do it all again.

I did this for like four days in a row last week and it felt amazing. I felt like I was finally in a groove I liked and could continue. My mind, body, and spirit were all rocking out.

Then, like most good things we do for ourselves, my old habits kicked in. I slept in a little so I didn’t get some things done I wanted to. The weekend popped up and I had other plans. I thought I would snap back into it today (Monday) but I wasn’t really proactive about it this morning so I feel off again. I’m out of the groove.

But now that I know a groove can be had and that it feels so fantastic to do, at least I now know the goal I can strive towards while remaining flexible for all the crazy stuff this wacky world may throw at me.

The bad news: Madonna’s Get into the Groove music video sucks.

Support: Not just for your bra

I’m a lucky lady. I know what I love to do and I get to do it every day. And I get to do it because I have an incredible system of support around me. And I’m extremely grateful for it. And want to take a moment to recognize it.

I’m a firm believer it’s always important to take time to be grateful for those around you who give you support, and in turn to support the people you care for. But this concept has especially been on my mind in the aftermath of the Boston Marathon bombing.

Terror causes tragedy no matter how it’s spun. But one of the elements of the Boston attack that is most tragic for me is the fact that so many of the people critically injured (and two of the people killed) were there to support the runners. They were people who got out of bed that morning just to cheer people on. As  a person who started consistently running half marathons, I cannot emphasize enough how important the people who come to cheer the runners on are. There have been plenty of times when I feel like crap and wonder what the hell I’m doing running for no apparent reason and just want to stop when a stranger on the sidelines will smile and say “Good job! You got this!” and I’ll think “Yeah, okay, I can do this…just keep going…” through to the finish. It’s so easy and simple to give support. And it can make a world of difference.

I want to take a moment to recognize how lucky I am to have my own awesome support systems.

I have a hunky boyfriend who comes to all my races and waits for two hours at the finish line just to say “Good job” and get attacked by my sweaty, tired mess of a self. He goes through jokes after my stand up sets and helps me analyze why some worked better than others. He helps me create workout plans while I’m eating a pizza and saying I want to be in better shape. And he does a million other things that give me a sense of stability in this constantly changing world.

I also have incredible family and friends. My family is always cheering me on and telling me they’re proud of me. I talk to my parents constantly and they’ve bailed me out of sticky situations when I need it. They’re also doing a million things that give me a sense of stability in this constantly changing world.

I have inspiring, hard-working friends who push me to better myself while giving constant unconditional support. They celebrate my wins and help me to get over losses and also help bail me out of sticky situations (I should probably stop getting into sticky situations). The constant support and inspiration they provide also gives me a sense of stability in this constantly changing world.

I have a great, low-stress, fun job that I’m good at that helps me to pay for the high expenses of LA while giving me total flexibility to pursue my passion. I have an employer who lets me try out jokes on him, has no problem with the myriad of characters I take on any given day, and comes to almost every show and buys tickets for anyone else who wants to come just so I can have a good audience to perform for. These gifts, among other things… yep, you guessed it- give me a sense of stability in a constantly changing world.

I’m not sharing all this to brag about how great my life is. Everyone has their struggles and their rough times. I guess I’m writing as a thank you to those people who support me. And people who support others everywhere. If we take the time to recognize and be grateful for the people around us who give our lives more joy and meaning, then we can better be that person to others. And it can give a little more positive perspective on an otherwise darker situation.

Take a look around you in your own world. I guarantee there are people around you who are proud of you. There are people who want you to help you. There are people who want to celebrate with you. And there are definitely people who will help bail you out of sticky situations (which I don’t suggest you get in, but can attest that you will survive).

So thank you, my lovely support people. Thank you, strangers who give support to people you’ve never met. And thank you, universe, for occasionally giving us a chance to reflect on that gratitude, soak it in, and send it back out for the rest of the world.

How do we remedy a dark situation? Choosing to shine our light into it.

Thanks for indulging me in this post. Back to the poop jokes stat.

A Tizzy Makes You Dizzy

I got myself in a bit of a tizzy this morning.

Have you ever done this? Tizzied out? Gotten all frazzled on your own account?

It’s not super fun. And it makes you feel a little out-of-body while it’s happening. You know you’re being a jerk, and you know you’re saying things you don’t exactly mean, but you can’t help yourself.

Basically, I’m adjusting to some transitions in my already pretty packed schedule. I’m hitting up more open mics and comedy shows late at night – which I love. And I’m also trying to still get up in the early mornings for workouts- which I also love. And I’m trying to spend lots of time working on my own creative projects- which I love. Meanwhile, I’m trying to have actual income through my day job- which I’m lucky enough to truly enjoy as well.

So I can put myself in a tizzy by pushing the expectations I have for what’s possible on a daily basis. I woke up tense and spent all morning tensely working on several projects. And I could have been okay…if I hadn’t gone to the post office to get stamps. Only to find out the post office was out of stamps. No wonder they’re going out of business.

And then it was game-on for tizzyland. I was so angry and anxious and frustrated and tense and I didn’t like the feelings at all- they were just there. I wish I had more time in the day. I wish I had more money in my pocket. I wish I didn’t have to sleep away 5-7 hours every night because it’s so unproductive.

But mostly I wished I could relax a little and enjoy the moment.

But the thing about getting yourself into a tizzy is, the very thing you want to do- stop being in a tizzy- is what you focus on so hard that it puts you in more of a tizzy! A downward spiral of frustrating tizzyness!

I did eventually get out of it. I went to the gym. I got some things done. I got to work. I ate a sandwich. I took a breath. I relaxed. I returned to normalcy.

And now that I’m out of that state of mind, I need to remind myself to enjoy the journey. It’s easier said than done when it’s tax season and the bill collectors come calling and there are classes and marketing to invest in while trying to maintain rent and basic car expenses… but there’s a part of me that knows deep down, I’ll miss the feeling of the struggle once so many goals are attained.

So I’m glad I got in a tizzy. It was a reminder to be more proactive about maintaining a positive outlook. And to be more proactive about taking care of myself and my needs while on this crazy journey. It will be all worth it once the investment starts paying dividends.

A cool thing happened in the height of my tizzy. Florence and the Machine’s “Shake it Out” played on the radio right as I turned it on. And that song does something to me that definitely helped calm me down. Probably worth the $1.29 investment on iTunes to prevent further tizzies from gaining too much momentum in the future.

So shake off those tizzys before you make yourself dizzy.

 

Give yourself the break.

Here in Hollywood (or as some call it, “Woody Holl” if you’re feeling extra wacky), there’s a lot of talk about getting the magical break. People want to break into the movie industry or break into the music industry or catch a break by snagging a big opportunity or riding a wave when it breaks or talking about Breaking Bad…

Everywhere you look there are articles and tips and tricks all revolving around on how to get your big break into whatever world you want to be in. You’re expected to be on at all times- constantly working on your game and making sure every moment of every part of your day leading up to your break is absolutely perfect so when your big break actually comes, you’ll be ready to seize it!

That’s all well and good. And I believe it to be true 99% of the time. I spend immense amounts of time dedicated to making my dreams a reality- writing, performing, creating, pushing boundaries, making connections, finding my voice, making money to pay my bills- and I love it. I love doing it. I’m so grateful to be able to live out this adventure and this opportunity and do my best to do my best every single day.

I had a revelation not long ago, however, that the remaining 1% of the time- I have to give myself the break.I don’t mean I have to create my own opportunities, shows, auditions, and whatnot- I already do all that constantly. I do it because I love it and because every time I get on stage or am in rehearsal, I’m improving my skills and my heart is singing contently.

I mean that I need to let myself take a break once in a while to re-enter normal humanity and enjoy my friends, family, and loved ones. If left to my druthers, I would spend all day every day writing, performing, marketing, acting, looking up better classes or marketing tools, reading trade papers, watching old films or sketches, blogging…you name it. I would be theoretically content to just live as a hermit for the rest of my days if it meant I got to spend them creating.

But that’s no way to live. What’s the point in pursuing your passion if you don’t have people to share in the highs and lows with? And what’s the point in re-creating life-scenarios onstage or commenting about life experiences if yours are completely limited? How can you expect to play different characters and people convincingly if you only ever hang out with yourself? Not to mention, sometimes it’s nice to just be a normal human being once in a while and let your mind and body relax for a day.

I also need to give myself a break when it comes to my career. Any given day, there is only so much you can do. I was driving to an audition not long ago for a commercial. I left myself an hour and fifteen minutes to get there from where I was. I was technically 10 minutes away, but this is LA so the traffic can be insane at any given time.

As I sat there in absolutely dead stopped traffic 50 minutes later, I realized I could be late to this audition.  How was that possible? I left myself so much time! I planned ahead, had everything ready, looked totally the part of what I thought they wanted, I was so close yet I just couldn’t move- how on earth was I going to be late? Was I  subconsciously self-sabotaging my career because I am scared of success?  Should I call my agency in tears and say I might be late to the audition?

It should be noted- I hate being late. I have a visceral response to my own tardiness. It runs in my family that lateness is unacceptable and never to be practiced. When I’m running late in my car, I’m typically screaming at the other traffic around me and banging on the steering wheel only to screech into a parking space and sprint to wherever I’m heading. Lateness and I do not agree with each other.

So as I’m sitting there in completely unexpected and awful traffic, I took a moment to breathe. I was not self sabotaging myself. I was as prepared as you could reasonably be. I did everything in my power to get to that audition on time. And in that moment, there was absolutely nothing I could do to make the situation better. I might be a minute or two late to the audition. Traffic in LA happens. Shit happens. I had to give myself a break.

Had I left not enough time to get there or been un-prepared or forgotten or blown the audition off, I would not have given myself the break. But sometimes, even when you do everything in your power to be prepared for your break, the world around doesn’t conform to your will and it will not do exactly what you ask.

And that’s okay. It’s okay to do shows for the sake of loving to perform not for getting industry people to notice you. It’s okay to take classes to learn and meet new people not for impressing a person in the industry. It’s okay to be three minutes late to an audition that you did everything in your power to be on time for. It will not kill your career in this industry.

Give yourself a break. The big break will when you’re ready and the timing is right.

It should be noted, I had another audition the week after the one I was three minutes late to, and I was an hour early. Take that, LA traffic,  I will break you.